CASE #0091-B
The Tuesday Vending Machine
Dispenses snacks only on Tuesdays, regardless of payment method or begging. Relocation attempts have resulted in three sprained backs and one resignation. Currently monitored, not engaged.
RESTRICTED — INTERNAL TERMINAL — DO NOT SCREENSHOT
DIVISION ARCLIGHT
Anomalous phenomena containment since 1962. Weird things, handled quietly.
Active Case Files — 6 of 4,281 shown
CASE #0114-A
The Perpetual Stapler
Office stapler in Records has not run out of staples since the Clinton administration. Staff advised not to name it. One staffer did. She is fine. Mostly.
CASE #0027-C
The Humming Elevator
Hums melodies matching songs not yet released. Field team lost contact past floor 13. Elevator was recovered. The team was not. Humming continues.
CASE #0056-D
Mr. Whiskers
A cat that appears exactly three minutes before any containment breach. Believed to be early-warning, not hostile. Do not feed him outside the designated hours.
CASE #0138-A
The Infinite Memo
A memo on printer paper policy that, when photocopied, prints a new memo with slightly revised policy. Loop not yet closed. We have stopped photocopying it.
CASE #0003-E
Supply Closet 4
Door occasionally opens onto somewhere with better weather. Coffee on the other side is reportedly excellent. Door is now padlocked out of principle, not safety.